I came across two mirrors facing each other when I was young. It was in a hotel, but nonetheless beautiful. It was the first time something didn't end, or the first time I was actually faced with it. You look into space, and you see stars. Few of us look into space and think about seeing everything, for miles. That's how I felt while staring into the mirrors, moving my arms, moving my lips, asking my mother about it. That's how I feel with music. It's endless and all-encompassing. There is something in it that can never be nothing. What I mean is that so often there is an end in what we do. When the song ends, the music did not complete itself. Music is a representation of a feeling for me that doesn't ever express itself in any other way. It's a look, a feeling that desires to never see an end. That's the pull.
I think every musician questions music. Why they feel the need to create it. Why that bubble pops during the day and there's nothing that can resolve the anxiety other than creating it. Lately, every single day I've experienced that rush of tension. And the tension only grows from 1pm, to 2pm, to 3pm and on until I'm home. And the odd thing about all of this? Sometimes I don't relieve it. Sometimes I become trapped in something else that keeps the struggle going. So strange. So backwards. But most of the time, deliberate.
Creating music is never relaxing for me. It's a well I have to dig every time I start. No, it's a simple wall that I add bricks to, never seeing the beginning or end. Because polarity doesn't exist here. That's the most thrilling thing to me. Being stuck in between mirrors for a period of time.
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